By Lisa Lakey
I make the drive home from work so often it seems I go into autopilot. Whether I’m listening to a podcast or enjoying the (rare) silence, before I know it … I’m home. Scary, right? But there’s a term for it.
Highway hypnosis. You can actually turn the wheel, accelerate, decelerate, all while in a semi-conscious state of mind.
The same thing can happen in marriage. I can go through all the twists and turns married life requires—a peck on the cheek before we both leave for work, make dinner, pay the bills, plan a weekly date night, kiss goodnight … and start again tomorrow.
But when I’m operating in this state of marriage hypnosis, I often miss things like a downcast look telling me my husband needs some encouragement or prayer. Or an opportunity for that kiss goodnight to head into something more. I can also miss some serious warning signs (Danger Ahead!), and before I know it … we’re someplace I don’t want us to be.
So instead of cruising on autopilot, I want to be deliberate about where I’m going in my marriage. I want to be fully in each moment, not blindly going through the motions.
Like when he’s had a long week, the weight of his work bearing down on him and he just needs me to take his hand. Or those lingering looks that tell me exactly what he’s thinking. Even moments where I just need to slow down and enjoy being beside him, no agendas, just us.
Because those are the moments that make a marriage last.
Listen to one couple share how strategic planning helps their marriage last.
The good stuff: Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise. (Ephesians 5:15)
Action points: Sit down and think about your day-to-day interactions with your spouse. Which ones were you intentional about? Which ones were you in “marriage autopilot”? Decide on two ways you can be intentional today.
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