7 Phrases in Relationships that Symbolize Zero Respect

1. "You're Not Good Enough."

Unfortunately, many spouses and boyfriends/girlfriends are not afraid of telling their partner that they are not good enough. This is often said in the heat of an argument, or it carelessly slips out in conversation. Hearing “You're not good enough” is more than enough to break anyone down. To hear the love of your life say this is heartbreaking.

If your partner has told you that you're not good enough and they have repeatedly said it to you, remember you are not bound to this relationship. Cling to Jesus during this time and choose to focus on what He says instead. The Lord says you are fearfully and wonderfully made in His image (Psalm 139:13-16; Genesis 1:27), and you are His workmanship (Ephesians 2:10).

Any partner who cannot see this is blind. You are good enough as you are because Christ is enough. The Bible tells us, “For in Christ all the fullness of the Deity lives in bodily form, and in Christ you have been brought to fullness. He is the head over every power and authority” (Colossians 2:9-10). Reflect upon this passage as you are walking away from this present relationship. Take time to work on any healing that needs to be done. 

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2. "Why Can't You Be Like _______."

I have heard many of my married friends tell their spouses, “Why can't you be like (fill in the blank)?” Normally, the name listed is someone else's spouse. This is incredibly hurtful and can destroy your entire self-view. When a partner makes a statement such as this, it shows they have zero respect for you and the relationship.

After a partner has made a statement like this to you, you need to talk with the Lord in prayer (1 Peter 5:7). Refrain from allowing your self-worth to crumble. This statement only reflects the type of person your partner is: someone who is disrespectful, rude, and doesn't appreciate a good thing when they have it. The way this individual has treated you says nothing about your worth. It only says a lot about them. It tells us they have zero respect for others and they only care about themselves.

Talking with the Lord in prayer will help healing to come into your heart. Being in an abusive relationship will take its toll on your heart, mind, and soul. God can lift you and give you the strength that you need (Isaiah 41:10). Rely on Him as you are rebuilding your confidence. 

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3. "You're Overreacting."

Another phrase to watch out for is, “You're overreacting!” This phrase is often said by the male in the relationship to the female. Sadly, females are often seen as “overly emotional” by men, and some men talk down to their partners. This phrase signifies there is zero respect in the relationship, and it also signifies that the person saying these words does not understand basic emotions or basic kindness.  

If you get upset because your job let you go or a friend betrayed you, you are not overreacting. Even if you get upset over something minor, it does not mean you are overreacting. It could be that you have met your breaking point. Your partner or spouse is supposed to meet you in these moments and surround you with love, support, and kindness. They are not supposed to be mean or condescending.

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4. "You're Too Sensitive."

Being told “you're too sensitive” after you have poured out your heart to your spouse or partner can be heartbreaking. Whenever a partner or spouse tells you that “you're too sensitive,” it is time to reassess the situation. Even if you think you are genuinely happy in your relationship, I want you to answer this question: Will you remain happy if you never feel safe to share your emotions with your significant other?

Relationships thrive on sharing emotions. If emotions are never shared, the relationship will begin to crumble. Not to mention, if your partner is telling you that “you are too sensitive,” then it is communicating that they don't have any respect for you or the relationship you share together. Not respecting your emotions is the same as not respecting you. You deserve better than this; therefore, walk away from the relationship, spend time in God’s Word, and see where He leads. 

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5. "I Don't Care."

Apathy is often seen as “cool” within the modern day, but it really is not. Being with a partner who seems laid back and chilled can often make us question what they think about us. For example, if we bring concerns to our spouse and they reply, “I don't care,” then it is time to truly talk about what is going on. If this is only a dating type of relationship, you need to walk away.

However, if this is the person you married, it is worth talking about in therapy and possibly taking some time away from one another. Whenever a spouse says they don't care about you, it is a red flag. It is also important to reach out for support. Being told by your spouse that they don't care is incredibly hurtful. Take some time to spend with your friends and get away for a few days while you think over the situation.  

Remind yourself of this passage, “The Lord appeared to us in the past, saying: ‘I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with unfailing kindness’” (Jeremiah 31:3). Allow it to bring you comfort at this time.

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6. "Don't Take Things So Seriously."

If you are in a relationship and your partner downplays your feelings and, at times, makes you feel like you are going crazy, then you are being gaslit. Relationships that have gaslighting go hand-in-hand with toxic phrases. The phrase “don't take things so seriously” is one of these phrases, as it downplays anything that may have just hurt you. If your spouse says this, it is a sign that they don't have any respect for you.

It can be hard to cope when our spouse or partner says this phrase, but we must remember that we don't have to stay in a relationship that has zero respect. This goes against Paul’s guidelines in Ephesians 5:22-33. Paul specifically says, “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless” (Ephesians 5:25-27). 

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7. "I Was Only Joking."

When someone says something hurtful to us and then says, “I was only joking,” it signifies zero respect in the relationship. For example, if your partner says, “My dream date would be with (fill in the blank)” or “You would look better if you lost 10 pounds,” and then says they were “only joking” when you get upset, then you have a problem. For one, they are making mean comments and then trying to act as though it is not a big deal.

Whether you are only dating this person or you are married to them, it is time to assess what is going on in your relationship. Life is too short to spend it with someone who is uncaring, mean, and selfish. Choose to walk away from this relationship and ask the Lord to lead you to someone who is after His own heart. God doesn't want you to stay in a relationship where your self-worth is being destroyed by your partner.

Talk matters over with God, reach out to family members and friends, and spend some time healing. Just because your partner has made you feel bad about yourself doesn't mean there is anything wrong with you. The problem is them. Rely on the words of the Lord, “The Lord your God is with you, the Mighty Warrior who saves. He will take great delight in you; in his love he will no longer rebuke you, but will rejoice over you with singing” (Zephaniah 3:17).

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